A Screaming Rock

This is what a rock sounds like.

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Kit and Douglas had plans to play putt-putt golf with the girls. First, they were going to meet at Kit's, where Doug would drop off his vehicle and Kit would drive them to pick up Kelly and Florita.

Doug knows Kit is home. The vehicle is there, and he hears some music, but not getting a response, he makes his way around to the back yard. He can see Kit’s head popping above some hedges near the back of the garage. He joins him.

Doug: “What are you doing?” He asks quietly, while Kit is staring at something in the garden in a befuddled haze.

Kit: “Come over here.” He says, not lifting his glare. Doug obliges.

Doug: “What am I looking at?”

Kit: “Listen, tell me if you hear something.” He furrows his brow and squints at a rock, about four inches in size, sitting on the ledge of the garden wall in front of him.

ROCK!

Doug: “What the hell did I just hear?” Kit does it again.

ROCK!

Kit: “OK, so I’m not crazy, you heard that too.”

Doug: “Yes, I heard that; what was that?”

Kit: “It’s that rock.”

Doug: “Rocks don’t do that.”

Kit: “It does that; you try it.”

Doug: “What do you mean, ‘you do that’, do what?” How?”

Kit: “Concentrate on it. Stare at it, then, all of a sudden, really focus on it intensely, all at once.”

Doug: “This is nuts.”

Kit: “Do it.”

Doug lowers and shakes his head, he can’t believe he’s doing this. He stares at the rock, takes a deep breath, looks directly at the rock and tilts his head with a wide-open, glaring look.

ROCK!

Doug: “What the h!”

Kit does it again.

ROCK!

Doug: “Stop doing that.”

Kit: “Why?”

Doug: “Because what if it’s wrong?”

Kit: “What do you mean?”

Doug: “What if it’s not nice.”

Kit: “C’mon.”

Doug: “Maybe it’s violating.”

Kit: “Are you kidding me right now?”

Doug: “No, what if it’s mean… What if you’re being mean?”

Kit: “I’m engaging with it.”

Doug: “Maybe it’s unwelcome.”

Kit: “I’m establish rapport.”

Doug: “What if it’s accosting?”

Kit: “Give me a break.”

Doug: “What if it’s a molestation?”

Kit: “It’s a rock.” He does it again.

ROCK!

Doug: “You have to stop!”

Kit: “Whatever.”

Doug: “It could be affrontive.”

Kit: “Well, we have no way of knowing.”

Doug: “Exactly!” That’s exactly why you have to stop. Be cautious.

Kit: “What if it has resources, you’re right, what if he has friends, oh man, what have I done.”

Doug: “As long as you stop.”

Kit: “I could have started a war.” The very terra firma below our feet could decimate us.”

Doug: “OK, now you’re being stupid.”

ROCK!

Doug: “Stop it!” Who are we going to call about this? We should call somebody.”

Kit: “You mean like the news, or some documentary team or something.”

Doug: “No! like the University or something.”

Kit: “Why? They pay for stuff like this?”

Doug: “No, probably not, but they might help you find some money…. but that’s not the point. This is a phenomenon. This is wild, this has to be studied.”

Kit: “A phenomenon?” What do you mean?”

Doug: “It’s a screaming rock! There’s never been a screaming rock!”

Kit: "— How do you know?”

Doug: “What do you mean how do I know?”

Kit: “When was the last time you glared at a rock?”

Doug: “That’s ridiculous.”

Kit: “Maybe they all do that.”

Doug: “C’mon.”

Kit: “What?” What if we’re just really new at this.”

Doug: “Really new at this. Really new at this.” Honest to god.”

Kit: “It’s a strange planet.”

Doug: “Where’d that thing come from anyway?”

Kit: “I don’t know.”

Doug: “Why’d you put it on the ledge?”

Kit: “I didn’t”

Doug: “It was just there?”

Kit: “Mm-hmm.”

ROCK!

Kit: “Hey!” Now you’re doing it!”

Doug: “It’s research.”

The End.

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