Afraid to Know Too Much
I have zero idea you guys, but this is how my theory is changing
It has always been the mystery of the origin of thoughts an d melodies that has been what keeps me in music. I have been the physical instrumentalist. The one that plays the sounds of the throat and the mouth. I never got very much into the details, it’s the rawness of the process that stimulates me. I'm one of those “let the song be what it is” guys. The more close to wherever the hell it comes from, the better. That’s why I never got into reading music, or playing the other instruments.
I’ve been afraid to know too much, because I had a fear that the ignorance that allows the sounds to emerge mysteriously and accidentally would disappear and ruin everything. It’s still a wonder for me to be in a room with a player who’s writing something, and then out of nowhere, from some place I don’t understand, a melody and words would just show up in my mind, then come out of me and fit right along with whatever it is they’re doing. “Afraid to know too much” is my music theory.
I have no idea, you guys. I don’t know how this works. All I know is when I flip the switch, the light goes on. Brains are wild. They are wild, they’re a physical organ, and over time, they heal. That’s what I know. That’s the best I can tell you.
When I first started singing, it was pretty terrible. I might have sounded like if Herman Munster tried to sing while being chased by a werewolf. I stayed at it. Eventually I started to stay in key. Then I started to be consistent. After more practice I could be dynamic, and vary my style, even within the same song. Then, I was an actual singer, I’d go as far as to say I eventually became a vocalist.
Now, I’m starting to get into the instruments that go along with writing the melodies and the lyrics. I’m finding that rather than losing the weird thing that makes things happen, It’s just more of it. I can write parts first, and then sing, or I can sing first, and then write parts. I’ve learned that I’m a bit more adept with figuring out other’s songs on keyboards. I’m ambidextrous, what most people call left-handed. When I move my hand to a keyboard in order to figure out a song, it’s my right hand that naturally finds the notes. When I play guitar, I play left-handed, and I’m more natural in writing something out of the blue, but not so much at figuring out other’s songs. Transverse we are. Bicameral.
It really doesn’t need to make sense. It’s like the question of God. If there is or isn’t a God, there’s nothing anyone can do about it either way, and it’s not the most important question. The most important thing regardless of the God question is, you are the only person who can make your decisions and you are the one responsible for them. The decision you make about what you’re going to do with your time of consciousness is your biggest question, whether there is a God or not. If you think you can surrender your behavior, you’re wrong. No matter what anyone tells you, that was you who did that, it’s you who’s doing this, and it’s you who will do the next thing. The mechanics of how, and from where, are far more interesting questions to ponder. Even though there are no clear answers for that either.
Another thing you’re going to see is how truly starting from scratch I am. My equipment is very bare-boned. How well I fill things out and vary, and layer my songs with more styles, instruments and production is going to be 100% dependent on the Substack success I have, or don’t have. It’s not as though I’m all the way broke or something, but I’m not loaded either. The point is I get off on the challenge of starting something from scratch and seeing what happens with hard work. I not only have to use this to buy any new instruments and equipment, but remember, my goal is to be able to also stack to journalists and writers who are doing the very important work of using, so we aren’t losing, our American First Amendment.
For Love,
Herschel (Commercial Herschel) Sterling