An Open Letter to Catherine Valentine

She is the Head of Politics at Substack

Sep 26, 2023

(Disclaimer: I never use the names of legacy media in my posts because I don’t want them in my algorithm. You should be able to figure out who I’m referencing by my smart alec nicknames)

Dear Catherine,

There are people mad about you coming into Substack. I have no idea. I don’t know what your plans are, or if you’re going to bring legacy media methods into Substack. Since you’ve worked at both and The Washington Passed: Democracy Died in Our Sleep, and VagueNoNsense I really hope you won’t do that. It could very well be that the reason you came here is precisely because you’re tired of baloney. Be clear that what’s great is the resourcefulness and the experience you bring to the table. That’s something anyone should be able to appreciate. I for one stopped watching cable news in 2009. OH! THE JOMO! The Joy of Missing Out! Even up to that point, I didn’t watch it for news. I watched it to know what the theys (you know, the “theys”) were trying to tell us; to get an idea of what they had an interest in our thinking is happening, in spite of the observable reality of what is actually happening right before our eyes, in real life.

**TV Baloney, a 2009 exercise in graphic cleansing**

Regardless of the plans for this, there’s no reason not to engage. I already know that there’s a point to what the theys do. The newsreaders are not there to question anything, or to even try to find out. It’s pre-formatted and they read teleprompters. If someone wants to know what’s going on they have to turn off the TV and go figure it out as best they can. Oh yes, don’t forget the scolding of the guests and the viewers, and the leading questions. There’s that, too. I love Face Flapper on VagueNoNsense as he’s trying to look tough and intelligent in his new, black glasses while side-looking at his guest. Also, the tough guy lady on MessyChimpanzee when she leans into the camera and does some scathing, face contorting insults for some partisan, culty, divisive purpose, and when she lies about the Covid shot and never apologizes for it while the theys sell missile systems in the commercials. Don’t even get me started on Un Sanity from BloxNews. Oh my goodness. -Let’s.Just.Not.- Jeez, call the number on your bracelet buddy. How do I know about these people if I don’t tune in? Because I watch independent media where they show clips. They watch these shows (god bless them), so I don’t have to.

There’s too much other good stuff on Substack to waste my time with stuff I can see on TV if I really want to. I’m not buying it, and I’m not reading it no matter where it is, even on Substack. There’s no point and It’s kind of like the inverse of going to a movie when there’s too much dialog, and not enough story being shown. If I want dialog, I can read a book. Movies are no good for that. If I want cartoons, I can watch cable news, not read Substack. Unless of course it’s an actual cartoonist, who is likely very talented.

So the best I can do is let you know what I think about it. I’d like to give you some ideas as to how to go about doing the political coverage a little differently. I think we know you’re going to present some of those legacy sources, but you’re probably looking for new things as well, and Substack is so good that we can find that stuff on our own, but your help won’t hurt.

…large numbers of us understand the threat, and the loss of our freedoms, and it’s actually drawing disparate people with disparate points of view closer together. There are underlying principles that are bigger than our extraneous differences, and we’re starting to recognize our agreements.

I don’t really care about looking at politically ideological angles. I think what’s happening in spite of the theys and their attempt to keep us divided, is that large numbers of us understand the threat, and the loss of our freedoms, and it’s actually drawing disparate people with disparate points of view closer together. There are underlying principles that are bigger than our extraneous differences, and we’re starting to recognize our agreements. We’re starting to see that the divide has been engineered, we’ve been reverse engineering it, and now we want to disassemble it. That’s not really something that we can write about, it’s something we have to do.

Please let me give you a few ideas that may be all the way out of the box and perhaps it can make these months leading in to this cycle’s mOsT iMpORtaNT eLecTIoN iN OuR LiFEtiMe! a little bit interesting and unique. Maybe for the people who like Substack it can be at least somewhat atypical. To be clear, I’m not recommending myself for these purposes. I’m too busy writing songs.

Here we go:

Get some thoughts from people from some other parts of the world we know little about, so we can get an idea how we’re viewed by people from other places. I mean, some place that Americans are simply not very familiar with. They don’t have to be from some enemy country, or from a Country we even think of as close allies. But some location that sees us in a language and a context we’re simply not familiar with. That would be a fun exercise.
Some writing from people who are far away from the direct reach of a nuclear war between the US and Russia might be interesting. What about an ally country that won’t be reached from the fallout for a day or so? Just have them tell us their thoughts about what they’re seeing from their perspective. That’d be a hoot.
How about some writing from people on the spectrum? People who are neurodivergent have an interesting way of piecing the world together. Often, we have savant skills and come up with things normies would never think of in a million years. There may be some value in that. People might really appreciate it.
Something I’ve noticed a lot of people doing on Substack, something I also often do, but that I try to get away from as much as I can. Writers sometimes weave their personal ideas about politics into whatever other thing they write about. I’m not even sure they do it on purpose. I’ve seen chefs do it, sketch artists, sports writers and others. It seems like it’s a part of American life and it points to the earlier mention I made of those underlying agreements we have about our freedoms being threatened and our representation being usurped by the theys. It would be cool if someone could curate a pile of those kinds of inadvertent mentions of the issues that matter to us in their everyday writing about their shoes, food, paintings, neighborhood scrabble games, collectibles and ice cream flavors. Mmmmm, ice cream.
People with Ecological Collapse Anxiety are always good for the high pressure thoughts. People under pressure come up with the best solutions and unique thoughts on policy. That’s a good crowd for that.
Salespeople. They go to all those self-improvement weekends and read dozens of really short books on confidence and how to influence people. I’m talking about the everyday salespeople who are having their own breakthrough performances, not the big names, like Zig Ziglar, Ron Popeil, Bernie Sanders, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and The Squad. They get way too much time already.

**The TV Baloney just keeps on comin’,** 2009

Thanks for reading this Catherine, I’m glad to be able to share my thoughts and I hope there was something useful here. Substack is growing like crazy and there are lots and lots of thinking people here. You know this of course, and you of course are one of them. I’m glad we are each one of us here. I’m going to be looking for more opinions from as many different points of view as I possibly can. I’m certainly not one of the people who is mad that you’re on board, the more the merrier, I say.