It was crazy. Someone should learn about poop before they can have an adult conversation with a person. I’m Herschel Sterling. This is Smell the Inside of Your Nose. Do It Right Now, before you VANISH! Flash Fiction Today
It was a really nice day. There had not been a lot of fighting recently, and the food was good. People were mostly doing normal things. Sometimes events are so consistent and move along relatively smoothly, short periods of stability can be deceivingly long.
One day, there was a shattering of that illusion of stability. All of a sudden, there were these other people. They were walking around, and they were doing things. They were very different.
The people that were having the nice days saw something, and they were perplexed. They saw the other people, the ones that showed up—pooping in the water. “Hey, those people—they’re pooping in the water!” They said.
Someone approaches a water-pooper. “Heeey, hiiiii there… are you crazy? You’re pooping in the water. Are you okay? Can we call somebody? Can we find someone who takes care of you?”
The water-pooper then just looks oddly at them, turns, and walks away.
“They must be crazy, we have to find another one of them to help; they must have gotten separated from their family.”
Time went on, and the people watched the water-poopers. Because that one water-pooper wasn’t the only water-pooper. The people thought this was frightening and that it could not end well.
The people had a lot of talks about the water-poopers. The old people and the moms and the dads and everybody else.
“Don’t they know they’re going to hurt themselves?” One of the people said.
“They’re going to hurt everyone.” Said another.
“They’re disgusting, they rarely bathe and they never take those stinky clothes off, and it’s gross. The clothes are growing all kinds of things in there, and they stink like poop and mold. They’re going to make us all sick.”
“We have to try to talk to them about the water-pooping.”
“How do you talk to someone who poops in the water? What would you possibly do to have a conversation with them? I think they need to learn at least about poop before they can have a real talk with a person, but I don’t think I should have to be the person who teaches them about poop, that’s totally not my job. Why are they walking around without supervision? That is the real question.”
“They don’t always poop in the water, at least not all of them. Some of them may not poop in the water at all. It would be good to know who those ones are.”
“They don’t all poop in the water?” Someone asks.
“No. They dig the holes and build little homes over them, they go inside, close the door, and poop.”
“We have to isolate that group and talk to them.” And that was the decision.
Time went by, and they talked to the non-water poopers, but not much changed. The numbers of water-poopers overwhelmed the economy and things got worse and worse over time. No one had any concept of where anything went, and things and poop and all kinds of messes were piling up everywhere.
Like many societies before them, eventually, these water-poopers just “mysteriously” disappeared. It was one of those stories where it was some kind of big mystery about where this civilization went, as though they just up and disappeared without a trace.
What happened is the ones who didn’t participate in the water pooping lived higher up from downstream and they were not as affected by the water-pooping. The people who were there before the water-poopers made it through and got together with the leftovers from the water-poopers and they made something decent happen.
The water-poopers did not just “vanish without a trace," they pooped in the water.
The End.
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