It’s the root of censorship, really. It’s saying: ‘We are not going to listen to you because you talked wrong.’
Grammar is rarely the goal of someone who is setting out to write something. People write because they have something to say. What people have to say is more important than how they say it. You’d think.
We know it’s not like that, though. We know that there are people who are more concerned with form than function. They are more concerned with appearance than competence.
It’s the root of censorship, really. It’s saying: ‘We are not going to listen to you because you talked wrong.’ What you said made absolute sense, but since you broke some grammar rules, it doesn’t count. You don’t count. Those are always bureaucrats in training.
People who do not want to hear what you have to say are going to make EVERY excuse not to listen. Grammar is usually just their first cop-out. Your grammar could be perfect, and they would still find an excuse not to listen.
This is, of course, not to say that there is no place for grammar. Writing rules are important. There’s no discounting that. Proper grammar on paper is the difference between a lot of things. Speaking is different. You know what someone is saying, even if they’re doing it ‘wrong.’
communication
1 a: a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior
the function of pheromones in insect communication
also : exchange of information
This definition has changed. The definition of communication used to include the word “effective.” When communication was exchanged effectively, the goal of the communicator was reached. Now, that is no longer the case. Attempting to communicate is now considered communication. Definitions change, that’s fine. Let’s look at the old definition of communication by talking about effective communication.
What is effective communication?
I’m using helpguide.org. Here are a couple of paragraphs from the link.
Effective communication is about more than just exchanging information. It's about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. As well as being able to clearly convey a message, you need to also listen in a way that gains the full meaning of what's being said and makes the other person feel heard and understood.
Effective communication sounds like it should be instinctive. But all too often, when we try to communicate with others something goes astray. We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue. This can cause problems in your home, school, and work relationships.
I have heard truly awful people say things like. “If they can’t speak properly, I’m not going to recognize them.” That’s real. There are people like that. They use every excuse that they can to buffer themselves from every aspect of the world that they possibly can. These are frightened people who cannot defend their position, so they create rules and then change rules so that they can be dismissive of fellow citizens who challenge their idiocy. Who hires people like that?
There are dialects of language that are very efficient. There are dialects of English spoken by groups of English speakers that are far more efficient than proper English. In dialects like this, people can make all the same points and do it efficiently with fewer words than they’d use if they were being proper. Everyone in the room knows exactly what they are saying, and they did it in six words instead of twelve. That’s cool. But, there are people who use their improvement of the language as an excuse not to listen to them.
Something I learned as an athlete from very good coaching I had as a kid was that it’s better to look stupid doing the right thing the wrong way than to look artful doing the wrong thing the right way. I think communication counts like that too. When someone says something stupid with impeccable grammar, it’s so much worse than someone saying something intelligent, "‘improperly.’
What do you think about the written rules vs. the speaking rules? Should we allow people to dismiss others because of some language rules? The point being that if people are using grammar as an excuse to dismiss other people, they were never serious in the first place, and why are we allowing them to control the conversation?
Grammar Nazis Bureaucrat Training